Originally Posted by CANTDOIT12

I dont want to enable him but How do I give him consequences for his actions without it being an ultimatum? Can I do ANYTHING to help?

Sounds like you are trying to control him. This leads to mutual resentments and does not work. It's not your job to give him consequences. You could however get out of his way and let him fall.

I feel like I'm doing the opposite of helping right now because I let my emotions get the best of me and it comes out in an angry way. I know I should be happy that he is not using right now and is making calls for suboxones not Oxys, but I'm not.

Might it be healthier for you to not allow his addiction to make you feel anything? I mean, why give so much power to something you did not cause, cannot control and cannot cure? Someone who is remotely serious about getting off pills makes an appointment with an Md. Instead, he's calling around for subs from the same people who supply him with pills.

I just feel terrible for our 4 yr old daughter. She goes to school and has friends and a life here and if I leave I'll be ripping her away from all that and moving a state away back to our families.

This sounds a tad bit like you are trying to rationalize staying instead of protecting yourt child.

Is there anything I should or shouldn't be doing? Or are my only options either deal with it and pray he finds his path to help soon, or pack up and leave? Thanks for reading if you made it this far!!