Worst drunk ever hopes to launch into AVRT
Hello, Im new here. Despite drinking heavily for 7 years Im only just realising Im a drunk, with a big drinking problem, having just been caught drinking at work.
I drink as soon as I get up and it goes down hill from there. Despite this I am a young attractive successful person, but about to lose it all. I went to one AA meeting and knew it wasnt for me.
I have been off work and have spent 2 weeks (!!) reading the 5 part thread on AVRT, and know it is the way. My next is step is the crash course on the site and the book should arrive from Amazon (all the way here to Australia) in about a week.
I sh*t scared. Im only just admitting accepting how bad a drunk I am (as Im so high functioning and have managed to fool just about everyone, including myself apparently) and to have to make a Big Plan, as in forever forever... is my stuck point.
Even now as Im still drinking Ive begun to be aware of my AV, but I know without a committment to a big Plan, Ive no chance. Its just endemic in my society, family, relationships, country to drink. But Ive just read in another thread that to not drink is rebellious and I kinda like that.
I do not like who I have become. Who drinks before they even make their morning coffee?? Who needs to drink just to step outside the door and talk to the neighbour? How am I going to deal with this without my wine??? Who am I going to be without it?
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to the many contributers past and current who wrote in all those threads and have gone before me.
I hope I make it too.
Q