I agree with so much that has been said here, no need to repeat it!
I did want to make a comment about AlAnon. My first meeting I cried through the whole thing. Just sat there and cried. Just being there meant my denial was broken. And you know what? Someone in that room said, "Thank you for your tears. We know you've been keeping that inside for a long time and you can let them out safely here." That was a "wow" moment for me. I haven't cried at a meeting since -- but knowing that I can, and its OK, makes going to meetings easier. The people there will welcome me broken and they will welcome me healed. That's the amazing part about AlAnon for me.