Wow. Spent the night reading and reading all the wealth of info on the stickies. Gave me enough support to not contact my husband. I feel like I need a count down for days 'sober' from my alcoholic. I am glad to know I am not insane because of this compulsion to tell him
'One last time, one last way.' Not insane just need to change that behavior.
Englishgarden- I have to admit I read ur post a million times. At first it made me really really mad. I thought 'u don't know how things will turn out for me. U don't know my alcoholic.' But suddenly I thought, actually given that ur posting here, u probably do know my story. This dose of reality that my husband is in the throws if addictions sucks. And it IS getting worse.
Thanks all. In need if inspiration and I got it. One foot in front of the other...