Another thought here, You said that you made alcohol your identity. That is something a lot of alcoholics can really understand. For me, I always had a rocks glass with a nice bourbon or a light beer in my hand. It really was an extension of myself, so I thought. Why is that? Why do we feel like our disease is part of our personality that we can't separate from?
The way I see it, is that alcoholism overtakes our lives much the way some other debilitating disease takes over ones life. If you had cancer, or OCD, or type 2 diabetes, that too would be part of your "personality" because it is a part of your experience. The difference is that Alcoholics somehow see themselves as more charming, outgoing, etc.
This, to me, is just another head of the disease popping up, telling you that you can't do whatever without booze in you blood.