Originally Posted by
zanzibar 
Welcome Findingmyself you just admitted you have a problem, asked for help, realized that you make excuses, acknowleged you have short comings, and realized that you have to do this for yourself all at once. WOW. Ithink you are full of determination and really want to do this, and you also have an excellent self awareness. That's already a really excellent start. Read around ask questions and get started. This place is great for support.
Findingmyself, I quoted zanzibar here so you could read it again because its a very powerful paragraph. I'd read it often if I were you.
Like zanzibar said, you have taken 4 or 5 big steps. Keep that in mind and keep in mind that you also chose a name here on SR that is a positive way of saying what you are doing now in your life (as opposed to using whoami, or Iamlost which would have been a stagnant comment about where you are) You sound very thoughtful and ready to make a change as I was when I chose to call myself joinedintime, which I did because I knew that I had joined SR just in time while I could make a big change. Over 4 years later I'm still sober.
BTW, apologies to anyone that may be using those names that I called stagnant. They may work well for a given situation but I think Findingmyself is a great name from what I've read here.