I think you answered a lot of your question above already! You know in your head that you've done the right thing, but your heart still pains because of it all. You love her, that's ok to admit. Doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to her addict behavior, nor your kids!
You can hope all you want without putting your family (whom you are now wholly responsible for) in the middle of alcoholic-fueled drama and chaos. You can pray for her, and help her IF she decides to get sober and needs some support then.
You can fantasize about what life would be like if she were sober and healthy, and enjoy those as fantasies only. You don't need to act on anything.
If you did have the power to change her, wouldn't it have happened already? Losing you and the kids and her home, wouldn't that have been a catalyst? What more do you think you can do?
Sucks, I know. Hang in there. Prayers for a peaceful day,
~T