Thanks to everyone for their input. There are some ways he DOES open up to me emotionally, he has talked to me about some of the abuse he's suffered in his childhood and things that have happened to him as an adult...I think one of the problems is that I am a communicator, I want to talk about EVERYTHING...he is very private. One issue arises when he won't do what I WANT him to do vs. what he wants to do...and that is an issue I need to work on.
I've ordered some Al-Anon books online and am looking for a local meeting. I have a new co-worker who is in recovery and she has already told me some things about recovering addicts that will be more helpful to me in understanding him.