Originally Posted by
Sadconfused 
I'm not sure really. Like I said I know it's not my fault, I understand that thy are his consequences not mine but I can't shake the nasty guilty bad feeling. I guess no matter how much I tell myself it's HIS fault, I still feel like I am somehow responsible since I am the one making the decision to split up. It's 100% codependent, I can see this but I can't make the feeling go away.
Maybe its not guilt you feel? Maybe its sadness, anger, or plain old frustration that you are in the midst of this mess and wish it could be different? Sometimes I think we label a feeling "guilt" when it is really something else.
You really don't have that kind of control over his life. He'd like you to think that, because it keeps you hooked if you do. But you don't. If you did, imagine what else you could do - like make him stop drinking, get sober, and grow the F up! ; )
And like Thumper says above - feelings are just that - feelings. They are not fact (thanks Thumper, such a great reminder!) You don't need to continue to act on a feeling. Act on what is real.