And now I am mad at myself. I asked myself why I tolerate his bs, I have several answers all of which are just as crazy as him. I fell bad for ruining his life, making him lose his home, his daughter, etc , etc. I logically know that none of that would really be my fault, it would be the consequences to his actions but I still feel bad and guilty. Around this time last year I told him I needed a break and wanted to split up. We didn't of course all because he said can't you wait until after Christmas. Really?!? Wtf never mind what he is thinking, what am I thinking half the time. Now here we sit a year later on the same merry go round.