Leftover, Im right there with you, except im the girlfriend. I cant speak to his mom because she doesnt want to see what is happening. I could have written your post-just change wife to "mom and sister" I still have so much guilt, and panic that never seems to subside. There is nothing we can do...and I just couldnt sit back and watch him kill himself.
So what do we do now? We work on ourselves. Continue to attempt to detach, and pray for the best. So much easier said then done...but we can do it.