Welcome back...
Why is drinking so important to you?
You are aware that your slideing downhill and still drink.
When I was doing that ...I considered I was now an alcoholic...
Please go to Amazon and order either
"Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham or it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence " by Ketcham & ???
"Under" convinced me to quit tho not all the info applied to me.