Guidance Needed
I came across sober recovery site and I thought this was the place I needed to be. My story initially starts 5 years ago when I met my babies father. He was most likely an alcoholic and drug addict at the time. I was pretty naive and didn't understand the extent. He moved in and it was many downs, there were times he didn't call or come home from work, only to show up drunk the next day. There were many times of hiding use. I got pregnant in 2009; it only went downhill further, he was caught stealing from work and broke into my moms house to steal alcohol. He lost numerous jobs and started cheating. In 2010, he went into treatment and came out in Oct 2011. He came home for one month. He wanted nothing to do with parental responsibilities, and started drinking, lying, and cheating again. I got very sick with herpes virus a month after he was back. I kicked him out, Xmas day, as his biggest concern was finding cigarettes, not being concerned about kids Xmas. And that he was all the other things again. He also has moderate COPD mind you he is only 31. The dr already told him smoking will put him on oxygen within 5 years.
My biggest question is that of him being a parent. My son is now 3, and knows but doesn't really know his dad. He's lived on his own, for almost yr, but is drinking and probably using again. My son has a variety of health conditions, and he can't retain an knowledge of an a dr appt less than 12 hours. He to my knowledge is holding down a job currently, although I am waiting for the day the child support stops. He has lost his "room apt " and has disappeared, I have received vague text , him saying he's a monster and wants to come home. I have no idea who he is with or where as he will not speak to me. "says he can't". In the best interest of my sanity and my child, should we cut all ties? I am protecting my son, btw he could persue supervised visits via court, choosing not to. Oh I cant forget to mention he has mental health issues, that r untreated and has lost excessive amts of weight in short period, he's emanciated 130lbs at 6'2... I plan on attending alanon. I've read others stories and he is same lying, cheating, broken promises, I'm an alcoholic it's a disease I can't help it to it's not illegal I can go drinking in a bar, I don't have a problem. I've grown much stronger thru it all, unfortunately I don't trust men. And I need to know how to get my toddler thru this. Right now i have removed reminder photos, and told him daddy is making bad choices. When he makes good ones maybe u can see him again. Thanks for reading.