Thank you everyone for your thoughts... I did not realize that it has been almost a month since I posted with my question. I thought it had only been about a week. Since then I am feeling better. I found out my husband had been messaging an ex girlfriend who he was going to ask to marry him 25 yrs ago. They reconnected at my husbands best friends, kids bday party. She and my husbands friend are siblings. I was not at the party and was aware that they visited and talked for a long time that night. Anyhow, he was behaving oddly while on facebook and so after he went to bed I checked his messages only to find that they were not doing anything wrong yet, but were definately inappropriate with their conversation. I decided to trust my husband, that he would put an end to it soon... But two nights later she sent him a picture that was way out of line! I woke him at 3 30am, told him that he should go see her and get it out of his system, then find a place to stay for a while. He did not have a good day. That night I let him stay at home and he apologized and said he did not know why he was behaving that way. Over the weekend we talked and are reconnecting. I may be in "keep my man away from the ex" mode, but it is working for me. Even though I thought we were drifting too far apart I think this crisis brought me back into the relationship which is where he wanted me all along.
I always seem to feel better when I am in a position where I am stressed. But if it lasts too long then I end up worse... Do you know what I mean? It's kinda hard to explain... Maybey fight or flight is better. Once the problem is calming then it hits me. As long as I know it is coming I do ok, but when it sneaks up, like my moms passing, then I crash.
I did not get in with my doc yet, but have an appoint already set up for late November. I am glad that my bday just happened because it was the bday message from SR that reminded me to check in here.
I stopped going to the AA meetings for a few reasons. I went to several different groups, and all of them seemed to be full of complaining about life in general. They were not positive for me. It started to feel like a hassle and would leave me anxious every time I thought of going to one.
I think a huge part of what I was dealing with when I contacted the group was that the anniversary of my mom's death was Oct 1st. The day before I posted. A few days later I realized this. This happens every year. She passed 6 mos to the day after I got sober... I need to put it on the calendar so that I have a reminder to take better care of myself.
I absolutely think some changes have to happen... I did the psyciatrist thing and was put on some meds that tanked my already weak thyroid. He dxd me as bipolar and my body could not handle the treatment... I have complete faith in the doc I have now. She is a jack of all trades and if she is questioning something she will pull out her cell phone and call a specialist during our appointment.
Again thanks everyone, and I will keep you updated.
Linda