welcome,skate. i am also one who tried many times on my own and just couldnt do it. willpower was not enough for me. i went to AA, got the Big Bokk, found out it was written about me, had a solution i liked, and started using the suggestions and following in the footsteps of the ones that went before me in AA. working the program of AA took this hopeless,helpless, useless, worhtless drunk and turned me into a sober, productive member of society. life has taken on new meaning and i am happy, jouyous, and free, free fromt he bondage of alcohol.