Any advice now that he's in a nursing home?
Hi,
I went back and read the few posts I made here about a year ago. That helped to see how far I've come.
Background - I was with ABF for 7 years, we were engaged.
He was in the hospital in 02/10 for liver failure - tried AA, but never clicked.
We lost his brother 11/11 - gunshot while drunk (34 years old). (the 3 of us were close and the 2 of them were closer than any 2 people I have ever met). My BF found him just before he passed and was with him.
I ended our relationship about 4 months ago by asking him to move out; and then moving out his stuff. We have remained in contact via phone and some short visits.
Currently - BF called 3 weeks ago and asked me to see him - I went and knew right away he was in liver failure again - we spent the night together watching tv and cuddling - it was very nice and free from stress. He checked himself into the hospital the next day. While there he signed a power of attorney for his Dad. One week ago he was moved to a nursing home. His Mom & Dad just have no coping skills left to deal with taking care of him.
He may recover, however it is unlikely. He is 37. No one will give us a time frame except for one friend I have who was one of his nurses at the hospital - she guessed 6 months.
He has good days (alert, communicative). He has not so good days (spacey, sleeping). He sleeps ALOT now.
I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I want to do what I can to make what time he has left - the best for him. I don't want to go down a slippery slope of co-dependancy, but I don't want regrets.
I currently am visiting him every day on my lunch hour and for about an hour after work. On the weekend, I took our dog with me and spent a few hours each day.
Any advice?
I took a break from Al-Anon about 4 months ago - I started back last week.