I was very codependent - still working on my recovery as well. I always had an unhealthy amount of guilt, took things way too seriously, and was very hypersensitive.
I think when my husband first started his recovery (I was only half heartedly doing mine), I think I was very bad for his. I had no idea how to stay on my side of the street and asked all kinds of silly questions.
Today, I don't even think about his. I only care about mine. What he or anyone else says does not define who I am. I have set many firm boundaries and he is really liking the healthier me.
We are from - living happily after after - but I am not.
Keep working on you and when it clicks, you will get real motivated. I promise. It took me a while to get there but I am so glad I did!!