Hi Tammy,
I went back and read your old posts and saw some real insight and good stuff you are processing in your recovery! Also see that you are still in early recovery and having a bit of a low day today... you do know that your brain is trying to rebalance and blaze normal neural pathways and you will experience bluer days when you are low on certain brain chemicals?
Yes... God set the stars in the heavens and created this incredible planet called earth and he created you and knew you before you were born! And yes... at times we can be overwhelmed with the incredible beauty, diversity, wonder of this amazing planet we live on and some days we are bored to tears at the "sameness" of it all.
But... to everything there is a season and you are in a season of a recovery and it will be a roller coaster of emotions. But... God created us to think like him and His ways are higher than our ways and that is where the "sameness" of the days can become more exciting as we determine to learn more about his ways, his thinking and enjoying the world he gave us.
Back in February of this year I was devastated and my life was a dark and sad place. 7 months later I was over it and had a glorious time for 4 weeks in the Florida Keys... one of the best times with myself and with God I have ever had! I so enjoyed myself and the wonder of the sunsets and the ocean...one of my favorite, favorite places to be.
And that is the joy of life... that is it ever changing and it is hope that keeps us going when we are in a dark place. And for those of us who believe in God it is our faith in knowing that He cares for us and has a plan for us for all eternity and this life is only a blip on the radar screen!
And this "blip" can be great...especially for those of us in spiritual recovery. More will be revealed and there is a hope within you... and those pesky brain chemicals will get sorted out in time.
Keep the faith...