I grew up in a home with an AM and a SAF, so our childhood was pretty weird.
My AM is deceased and my SAF is still alive,remarried. I have low-contact because I learned that:
A) SAF, thinks that he did nothing wrong and it's all my problem. The rare times it came up, things have been twisted and I've been told it's my problem.
B) If I spend too much time I start to have feelings of powerlessness again.
I've learn"t I can't try and force people to acknowledge what they did, that it's not my job to do that,it's only my job to heal and grow.