Originally Posted by
MadeOfGlass 
I agree, but-- I am unsure how much Liz's husband drinks, and if he is an alcoholic or not. This is simply ignorance on my part. If he is deep within addiction, then he can't see reality for what it is, true true true!
I also think there are gray areas. There are alcohol abusers, there are alcoholics, there are people who drink more than their partner so it seems like a lot, and other combinations.
Still, unless he is a full-blown drunk all day long alcoholic, my experiences have led me to believe that he still is thinking sometimes. In other words, can he become disenchanted with his life separately from his drinking, or that his disatisfaction is what has led him to drink? Yes, he can. There can be more than one issue at hand here is my point, in fact, isn't there always?
He can stop drinking cold turkey to realize his emotions and think better. He can also recognize his dissatisfaction in life, and that may propel him to drink less. It can work backwards too! Recognize his unhappiness to drink less, or the reverse--stop drinking to recognize his unhappiness. Both can work, imho.
His history of drinking: He started drinking at 14, he worked at the Christian Brothers residency at his Catholic school and started stealing from them. He wrecked his dad's car at age 16 in a hit and run while drunk, his father took away his license for a year. He worked at a store called Liquor Warehouse between the ages of 21-24, he had all the access he wanted. He would go to work drunk, show up at the dentist after a few vodka shots(you know, to numb the pain), etc.
When we met I was 22 (he was 25 and just graduating as well) and fresh out of college, after living through the h*ll my dad put me through in his drunken rages blaming my existence on his crappy life. I noticed shortly after we started dating that he wasn't like the other college guys I dated. He would drink alone. I would show up in the evening after work to find him passed out in a chair with 2 six packs empty on the floor beside him. Something didn't feel right about his alcohol use and I never felt easy about it. Then he got thrown out of a sporting event for drunk and disorderly and they didn't file charges. He pushed me against a wall, told me to go home without him, and told me to leave him in the city. The next day he showed up at my apartment, handed me my spare keys, and I took sympathy on him and accepted his apology. He told me he walked 8 miles home on the train tracks in Baltimore, ugh! So, he decided to quit drinking. But, then a few months later he got a job offer for Miller Brewing Company. He took it, and I was devastated.
The Miller job was actually not so bad, it was just a 1 year contractual position and he somehow kept his head screwed on straight. Yet, he chose to quit drinking again, this was just before we married. We started attending church, spending time with friends who didn't drink, and I thought all my problems were solved.
Well, he managed to stay away from the alcohol for 15 years but started drinking again 2 years ago. He hides it, so I don't actually know how much he consumes. In the past year he has had at least 3 black outs that I have been witness to(and the one where he called from Vegas 3 weeks ago completely obliterated and doesn't remember a thing), one DUI that was considered a super extreme DUI here in AZ because his BAC was so high, and many nights where I'd see him start his drinking and not stop until he was passed out asleep on the couch. Other times I'd catch him still drinking at 5 AM because he'd start after we all went to bed. He does not drink every day, he is more of a binge drinker, and yes there are times when he can control his drinking. I am not sure if he is a full blown alcoholic. His sister and brother believed their parents were, so the family history is there, as well. He may be an alcohol abuser who's on the path to full blown alcoholism? He says all the things that alcoholics say here, the quacking is the same exact words.
For the first 15 years of our marriage I thought he might have a personality disorder or be bi-polar. I had never heard the term dry drunk before. He has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety as well as having ADHD and learning disabilities as a child. He may have been mentally ill before the alcohol abuse, or maybe the early teen alcohol abuse brought on the mental illness part? Who knows, we talk about what came first here a lot: the chicken or the egg. Does it really matter? I think, at this point, that I'm dealing with a combination in his own unique form.