Originally Posted by
interrupted 
I think the issue is with phrasing and intent. "He has no right" vs. "I will not allow myself to be manipulated by" and so on.
BINGO !
The pronoun is the first tip.
It takes a codependent to know the subtle and not so subtle codependent tricks and I used them all, to fool myself into thinking I had some sort of control over my adult daughter.
I needed many, many figurative fry pans upside the head to get clear the only thing I controlled was my reaction. I eventually chose to not allow my daughter's carp to influence my emotional stability. I reached a point where my happiness no longer depended on what she did or not. Guess one might say, I finally grew up and took responsibility for me. Bout time, given I am entrenched in my 50's.