I think the issue is with phrasing and intent. "He has no right" vs. "I will not allow myself to be manipulated by" and so on.
My sister ignored my birthday recently. She told the family that she didn't bother contacting me because I obviously hate her and don't want to hear from her. That's not true. I feel like every time anything happens she turns it around into her being the victim somehow. Big bad me, not wanting to be contacted for my birthday. Whatever. I want to say that "she has no right to accuse me of..." but I know that I need to say "I will not engage in dramatic blame shifting because it's not going to make me happy in the long run, it will just lead to more hurt and anxiety." I know this is a silly example, but I think the basic concepts are still similar.
As LoveMeNot stated in another thread, I agree that anger is part of this whole process of moving on, and it is hard to not get caught up in it, but we have to try our best, because anger is distracting us from nurturing our own growth and establishing our new baseline of healthy detachment. I know it's easier said than done, trust me, I've not had a stellar couple of weeks on my end, that's why I've been pretty scarce lately. I live and learn. (And keep beating myself over the head with these concepts, they have to sink in eventually, right?!)
