I reached a point that I no longer say anything to the kids unless I have to. II've started just saying "right", "right", to whatever he says. When he stops - I end the conversation with your children would love to see their dad; however, if you are not capable of being where you need to be, then it is better that you not come. I've stopped allowing his visitation at the house and we meet in public. We make plans ahead of time like going to a movie or the park. This way if he doesn't show up or starts with his craziness and he has to leave, we still have something fun to do. There's still dissappointment; but I started putting more on him without saying anything. If boys ask me if dad is going to make a game, I tell them to ask him. If he tells me that he is going to be at the game, I do not tell the boys. If he shows up, they are pleasantly surprised. I know exactly how you feel, the pain of seeing the dissapointment and having your kids manipulated is so painful. But, Story is right, we need to learn how to deal with these addicts in a healthy way to minimize the impact to the kids. Stay strong.