I wouldn't let the HP thing get you down or keep you from being sober. I fought that one too. It was my main excuse for not going to AA, even though I'd never been. When I finally drug my sorry butt in, I pretty much dove into the program. I don't concentrate on the HP thing so much, although a lot of people do. I'm almost 10 months sober and I'm glad I jumped in to AA. I am almost done with the steps. My sponsor told me to not spend too much time overthinking the HP. And she's right. I hope you get sober and stay sober.