Staying upstate & taking one class or two or moving back to Boston...it's all still up in the air...it's causing a lot of anxiety but this hit home on the Big Book today I am going to post it here for when I come back and look at thread on a later date when I need support.
Also I guess there's no reason not to start recovery with this sponsor. She seems to agree that it can't hurt.
I was supposed to start outpatient rehab/ED treatment this week but I' was in the ER this morning (Throat was so swollen I couldn't swallow and was having trouble breathing) and haven't really been able to get out of bed much for the past few days... so I am post poning to next week. It is the ED part of the treatment that I'm concerned about but this is a positive step I know I need to take
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Page 417 Acceptance
A.A. Big Book – Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and woman merely players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.