awe Estelle that was probably the sweetest post I have read so far. I agree with Tammy you are surely a very caring person for this to have upset you so much. We are all human and right now as terrible as you feel tomorrow you feel better without drinking...guaranteed if you drink you will not feel better about it. Only worse. It is tough when we have personalities where we are dwell on things and are so hard on ourselves but we have to say...."oops, that sucked" and move on. It is easy for me to say because i would be EXACTLY where you are right now being as sad as you....but being the one looking in I can see so clearly that this too shall pass and life will go on and it will be a chuckle one day. Big hugs and be kind to yourself tonight.