BB, I'm sorry you saw those posts but hope you see the support and love here too.
What helped me most to find my balance and build a program of recovery for myself that has seen me through many troubled times, was to go to meetings and learn to work 12 steps that literally saved my life. My home fellowship was CoDA (Codependents Anonymous), but Al-anon and Nar-anon are also wonderful programs, all similar in that they are about US, and not them and their substance. They teach us to find boundaries and courage and inner peace that I didn't even know existed.
It took my a while to set up my own recovery, but until I did my life just kept getting worse and worse. Once I began, it has been better every single day...even the bad ones.
I hope you too can find your balance and the courage to learn how to take care of yourself.
Hugs