another relapse
Hi everyone. So my boyfriend starting going to NA meetings about 3 weeks ago from his addiction of crack and pills. He was doing good and going every night. But his 2nd week into the meetings he started slacking because the groups weren't relatable to his situation. I went to one open meeting with him to support him and he told me that was the best meeting because the speaker of the night was relatable and was enthusiastic about his experience and wasn't afraid to raise his voice and scream about all the **** he did wrong in his life. Anyways my bf was very happy that he was 3 weeks clean but he relapsed last night.
My heart is just into pieces and I need to leave this relationship. It is causing me bad anxiety and my head is just not in the right place. I'm 20 yrs old, live with my parents and in nursing school and that is time consuming enough, on top of working as a nurse assistant in a hospital. I know I need to break up with him but I am so forgiving and hate fighting so I usually just ignore the fact that he used because I just want to move on and continue living life. Everyone has told me to leave and I even tell myself that but idk when enough will finally be enough for me. If I break up with him I feel fine for a couple of days but then there comes times when I'm alone and get scared because there is no one else around so that's when I start talking to him again. We don't go out on dates because he never has money, doesn't have a job and not going to school. This relationship doesn't benefit me in any way but it benefits him because I'm his rock that keeps him sane and he's dating me in which I have my priorities together. This relationship is pointless because I am not going to marry this guy but its so hard to just let go! He was my high school sweetheart. Crack has turned him into a completely different person with him stealing things to pawn to get cash and his mom caught him about a month ago n he was gonna sell his car for 200 bucks and it makes me SICK that he would sell the only car his family has.
I need serious advice on how a lot of you made it thru leaving the addict and what it took to move on. I'm making myself sick over this. I have attended al anon and it just doesn't work for me because the people are so much older than I am making it very hard to relate.