I understand, trying! I have been trying to get sober for about 4 years - in and out of meetings and to rehab once. No, it's not easy. The hardest part is to learn to deal with life without alcohol. But, as I have learned (take with a grain of salt from a person with a whopping 2 days), each time you do something differently (like NOT drinking and doing something else like posting here instead) it gets easier to make the healthy choice. Welcome to SR!