Originally Posted by
WishingWell 
Can ask you something?
Are you seeing what it is that you are doing that is causing difficulty in your marriage? Are you seeing the part you play in the problems he has with this marriage? Beyond alcohol?
I wonder sometimes with all the finger pointing - are we seeing OUR stuff? What they need and aren't getting from us? If it was only and all the alcohol, when they quit life would be perfect. It doesn't work that way, with an over 50% divorce rate in this country - the issues go much deeper. We all have our faults and therapy is not just to go in there and prove that we're right and they're the bad guy. It's to take a clear look at our own flaws as much as to look at the marriage in general.
I find it really hard to work on relationship issues with someone whose personality changes all the time and who hurts my feelings and destroys my trust to get booze (and lashes out at me in anger). I don't think alcoholism is to blame for everything, but it makes it near impossible to address other issues.