Originally Posted by
SparkleKitty 
Someone who not only loves and accepts me for who I am, but who loves and accepts themselves the same way.
I am pretty lucky, because that's what I have now. I wouldn't trade a day of the past that it took to get here though. It was all worth it.
So glad that you found happiness, SparkleKitty. I thought I found that, too, but that was in between his anger, anxiety, and depression and realizing that I got lost in the mess that we were creating together.
I wrote him a letter(yes, again) to bring to therapy about what I want and here's some of what I shared:
Trust:Someone who will back up his words with actions, someone I can feel free to open up to without fearing that my feelings or thoughts will be criticized or used against me.
Loyalty: That my feelings and experiences will be treated with respect. That I will not be shamed or guilted just because I interpret things differently. That he will be loyal to me in all ways and value my loyalty to him.
Maturity: That he will act like a 45 year old man and set the right example for his son and wife. That he will strive to be a positive male role model and will have integrity in the decisions he makes in his life.
Hmmm, maybe I'm asking too much? Honestly, I don't think I am. Many of my friends are married to men who meet this criteria and then some. Why does it seem like I have to minimize what I'm looking for and dance around what I'm really looking for? UGH!