Originally Posted by
FindingErica 
Dyed your pool red for labor day? Is that how things are spinning these days. I sure hope vacationing and european cars help him hit that necessary rock bottom quicker; so you can make an exception to your drug usage policy and bring him right back to work. Enjoy your pastries and rose tinted glasses.
Lovemenot: How sad MrsDragon - your son's hope and dreams are focused on a car, a material object. Perahps you may want to suggest some yoga to relieve his stress.
I really didn't feel the need to recap the whole pool event that was over Labor Day; 2 months ago on this post. I did not attempt to put a pretty spin on it then, and I wouldn't now if I was in discussion about it. I think it clearly shows my son is sick. He was high that night drugs, alcohol, both.
My son is an adult, he is 29. He owns his own home, has his own financial resources. I cannot stop him from going on vacation, finding women who will accompany him, or even prevent him from buying a car.
Could you stop your loved one from doing that? And would it even be within your rights?
I have no idea what will cause my son to stop using substances. I believe he needs to work on his issues of grief and deal with events in his past to truly be free of it.
My husband and I had a talk with our son after the pool incident, we made boundaries clear. He has not broke any since then. We do not feel the need to cut him out of our lives when for all practical purposes he acts normal around us, and is respectful. We want to maintain a relationship with him as long as it's comfortable for us; right now it is.
Our son knows we disapprove of his drug use. But he also knows we love him. He knows will support any type of treatment he chooses. He knows we have limits. We believe we have to respect his choices even if we disagree, and we have to accept him for who he is at this moment.
That is true removal of the rose colored glasses.
I would be interested in hearing what you would do as his mom? Since you seem to disagree with our process.
Lovemenot, no sweetie I don't think his hopes and dreams evolve around a car; it's just a new toy. Something to busy himself with. I don't begrudge him getting a car; he needed one after my husband took away the one through work. I do however agree it is sad that he doesn't have a clear focus of his future; with hopes and dreams. He is living a superficial life at the moment with no real meaning. Its very sad because I wish for him to have deep fulfillment and love in his future.
I'm not sure what you meant about the yoga?