Someone said a few days ago that it's not sobrietys fault when sth goes wrong and that helped me. I sent my son a present, when I called him yesterday, he was upset, he is 8, he didn't get it yet. I called him again today and he wasn't very talkative, also because of what has happened divorce wise with my ex. It is not sobrietys fault that he didn't get the present or that him being upset made me feel bad. Drinking won't help him or me and is the reason I can't see him.