I guess that I take a slightly different meaning of this phraze: "do you want to be happy or be right" than the popular interpretation.
This phraze became popular several years ago when Dr. Phil breathed new life into it. But, nowdays it seems that it gets to be the go-to answer for every conflict.
I believe it was origionally meant for people who wanted to fight to the death on EVERY LITTLE THING---more as a power struggle than in the interest of communication and negotiation. Ok.--no problemo.
But, I think it is destructive when it is used to keep "peace at any cost". It is destructive when one person feels that they have to keep their opinions and feelings under the rug all the time--no matter what---just because the other person has such low self-esteem that they can never be wrong!
I think the real issue here is that in healthy relationships free and open discussions need to take place in order to problem-solve. Mutual respect is necessary on BOTH sides for the other's opinions. There should be recioprocity. Everyone is "wrong" som etimes and "right" sometimes. When there is no recopricity---there is no emotional "safety"---and SOMEBODY is getting screwed---Usually the same person--over and over.
This is just my take one it. I draw the line when my core values/principles of living and physical and emotional safety (and of the kids) are at stake. I can "give in" on all the other small stuff.
dandylion