Dear Caligirl, you will need to learn all you can about this disease that has turned your lives upside down. Start with the stickies at the top of this main page. Read all the suggested literature--everything you can get your hands on---and keep posting here as often as you wish. Alanon would be a tremendous support for you, also.
Active alcoholics cannot be expected to keep any promise (while still under the influence). Even while "sober", their brains are still under the influence. He is trying to "white knuckle". Many THINK they can control their drinking---but they can't. His disease is lying to him---he is in denial. You will have to back off--and let him discover this for himself. Meanwhile, you will have to think about yourself and how you are going to protect yourself. His recovery is up to him. And, your recovery is up to you.
Remember the serenity prayer.
dandylion