Welcome lui and cactuslady!
Please don't fear the AA meeting as outing you, think of it as a family or fellowship of people just like you with the same fears of being outed when they walked in. I've been where your at and had to do something. I couldn't continue and they were there to assure me I wasn't alone, my secret was safe, and they would give me the tools to remain sober. It's worth that fear walking in those doors, as you will find a new "home and family", who truly understand and will help. Lui make this the first anniversary sober, you'll have a greater appreciation of it if you don't pick up that first drink. Cactus, I get that too! Gosh those hangovers and feeling of fear of sobriety, it's what took me so long too. We'll be here to help and offer support and we have online meetings here if you'd like to get your feet wet. One in about an hour and half.