lui,
I also have no real words of wisdom. All I can do is let you know that you're not going through this alone.
Yes, the idea of going to AA is scary. Even after I had decided that enough was enough, and decided to attend, it still took one more drunken disaster just to work up the nerve to even pick up the phone and find out where the meetings are. Even that small step felt like I was admitting something that I didn't want to admit to. But I went to my first one last night, and it turned out to be a great experience. I didn't participate, and didn't go into depth in any conversations afterwards, yet I walked out the door with something that I haven't had for a very long time now. Hope for the future. A light at the end of the tunnel. Now I'm actually looking forward to my meeting tonight! Can you imagine that? I sure couldn't have a week ago.
That's about all I can say at the moment, but I hope that it's helpful, at least in some small way, to somebody.
Good luck to you, lui. I'm right there beside you!