Me too. I have no wise words. I can commiserate. Lately I have been writing on a daily basis in my journal -- I'm tired of going to bed drunk every night. I'm tired of waking up with a hangover every morning. I'm tired of being a drunk. I want to quit -- yet the thought terrifies me. I used to be concerned because I would drink three glasses of wine per night. Now, I am drinking a bottle of wine per day.
Alcoholism also runs in my family. My husband has just started going to AA. He is presently in another city with a new job. I plan to go down there after Thanksgiving. I look on his AA attendance with mixed views. On one hand, it will be easier to go in a new town than in a town I have lived for 27 years. On the other hand -- I have to quit.
I also have been a professional in a helping field -- social services. I also am a researcher. That's how I found this sight.
I can't help you. But perhaps we can help one another.