I swear I think the alchohol/cigarette connection is the only thing that keeps me from killing him sometimes. I know it's a little different in that ciggies don't alter my senses or make me do stupid things, but I'm still pretty stupid to do it. I wake up coughing like I have the plague, (I'm only 28 so I can imagine what I'll sound like in another 10 years), I can't breath, (asthma) and for all the complaining I do about money I don't really think he spent much more on beer than I have on cigarettes. Just like him I can justify every one and I can hate every moment I do it and do it anyway. I lied when I was supposed to have quit and hid them. I've gone into panics when I couldn't find them, tears and all. I'd rather skip meals than my cigarette on my coffee break at work. Gone outside in 30 below for one. I've never fallen down in the middle of the road from one but I smell like one all the time and my teeth are yellow. Oh yeah and my aunt died of lung cancer which was caused by smoking last year.
Sounding really familiar....and he made it longer without beer than I could without cigarettes. I do understand.