((Laurie)) - Welcome to SR, though sorry for what has brought you here. Lots of good advice above. I will add that I'm a recovering codependent and a recovering addict (over 5-1/2 years) and I've distanced myself from people who constantly remind me of my past or that I may relapse.
My maternal grandmother did not like my dad. There was no addiction, no apparent reason I could ever see, but it wasn't until my mom told her that she WOULD treat my dad with respect or she WOULD not see me or my mom for a very long time that g'ma changed. I didn't even like my g'ma when I was younger, she was bossy, demanding and it was "her way or the highway" on everything.
I don't know how old I was, but I do remember her saying "I was wrong, he (my dad) IS good for my daughter). I'm thinking I was almost a teen, so that's a lot of years of bad feelings.
I hope you can find a way to make peace with all of this.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy