Welcome, dorothy -
I remember how scary it was to make my first post, too. I'm glad I did, though, because it helped me turn my life around.
I'm glad you're here - it sounds like you really need to stop drinking, especially with the "reverse tolerance" (when it takes less and less to get us drunk) and some of the other things you mentioned. A month off here and there really isn't enough time to repair the damage.
Keep reading and posting. You're not alone - we understand what it's like.
