Let your daughter live her life.
If you can't deal with him then stay away.
Your daughter does not deserve to be disrespected in this way.
You are disrespecting her.
In all honesty, if my mother were interferring in my life in this way, I would shut her out.
Might be a good idea for you to step back and take a look at this from your daughters point of view. In reality all you are doing is causing problems between yourself and your daughter, if something happens and she feels she can't count on your, it will not be a good situation.
My mother stayed with my father , who was a violent alcholic for the very same reasons , her mother hated him. Very sad all the way around.
Be her mother, not her keeper.