laurie6781

Your first Old Timer was talking about the 180 degree change that we make
of ourselves by working the steps of AA.

The second Old Timer was using a saying that has been heard in AA now since
about 1978.

No MAJOR CHANGES the first year. As in, no getting out of a relationship unless
it is jeopardizing one's sobriety. No getting into a new relationship until one has
completed their steps. No changing jobs, unless again it is a negative to one's
sobriety. No moving from current residence, unless again it is a negative to
one's sobriety. etc

Those are not contradictions. However, there are some, as in 'you have to give
it away in order to keep it.' That and some others can be very mind boggling to
someone in early recovery. However, as that 'fog' starts to lift, and the mind
no longer feels like mush, a lot of those contradictions do start to make sense as
we see that by sharing with others and especially someone that has just arrived,
the feelings we get are helpful to our own recovery.

Make a Big Plan, you sure do have some misconceptions going about AA.

Go to meetings forever? Nope. I have many friends with close to the amount of
time I have some a bit more and some a bit less. None of us attend meetings on
a regular basis and have not for a long time. Why? Because we all were taught
that first we worked the 12 steps, then we learned how to LIVE the 12 steps on a
daily basis OUT THERE not in the rooms. That is what the program of AA is all
about, to get the alcoholic back out into the mainstream of life.

There is another answer that many hear from their sponsors when they ask how
long do I have to go to meetings? The Answer:

"You have to go to meetings until you want to go to meetings, then you don't have
to go to meetings anymore."

Now usually by the time one reaches that point of 'wanting' to go to meetings, they
are living the 12 steps in their lives and are finding balance in their lives and find
that they can go to a meeting when they 'want' to and the other nights use to fulfill
family obligations and other obligations in their lives.

"One Day At a Time" is for the newly sober, when sometimes it is One Minute At
a Time or Five minutes at a time. As one works the steps and then lives the steps
it becomes concentrating on TODAY. Just for today. I take care of yesterday by
doing a 10th step at bedtime. And if I am worrying about Tomorrow, then I am
going to miss out on some pretty amazing things that may happen Today. So I
concentrate on today to be the BEST me I can be TODAY.

If AA is not for you that is fine, I am sure there are some other methods there
that will work. There are some really good I'll say programs, for want of a better
descriptive word, that also work. But there is no need to put AA down, just find
something that does work for you.

As to (((((Zube))))). Thank you for starting this thread. It gives those of us in
AA a chance to laugh at ourselves and it can show others who have not tried AA
that we are a fun lot and can laugh about our recovery, roflmao

My sponsor's hubby Hugh used to say how azz backwards we alkies are. He
would point to himself first and mention how there was a big tire sale and he went
out and bought 4 tires because it was such a good deal and then had to go buy
a car to fit the tires, lmao He also would ask:

"Have you ever notice when a person is celebrating an Anniversary/Birthday at
a meeting and there are a fair number of candles on the cake that invariably the
person lighting the candles would light the outside ones first and then burn the
chit out of their hand trying to light the ones in the middle?"

And you watch it is true, lol We alkies seem to be very good at 'putting the cart
before the horse. roflmao

So a thread like you started Zube is a great for giving me and I am sure others
some pretty good chuckles.

THANK YOU.

Love and hugs,