Tresha

I want to spend time with him if he is sober. I am very open to having a relationship with him if he is sober. It is already at the point that I don't trust him not to drink. My boundary is that I do not want to talk to him or be around him if he has had even a single drink. If he comes to visit me, which I would like, I don't know how else to determine if he has had a drink or not. I expect that I will be able to tell soon enough if he is actively working his program (by his actions), but that wont be immediate.

Update. I went. I did not rehash old wrongs, but gave a general, "I have been lied to, diminished, demonized, accused of ridiculous things, badgered, etc." Then I said what it was important for me to say, dealing with my boundaries, my desire to begin a relationship with him sober and present with me.

He is making progress in his thinking. He is a couple of weeks in and still has a lot of foggy thinking. He wants to leave treatment. He stayed. His counselor says he is participating, complaining but doing the assignments they give him. I am guarded but not ready to be optimistic until his thinking becomes more rational.