Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Dear LIZ, I was in tears when I read your description of the sting ray incident! (probably triggered by some of the cruel attitudes of my children's father while we were married).
I think that was abusive--if not actually criminal---considering that you were in a potentially life-threatening situation.
LIZ, did you think he was being abusive at the time? (I mean privately to yourself). Do you feel like it was abuse now? Because, people, sometimes, don't actually know that it IS abuse.
You have indicated that you will be consulting lawyers soon about your rights. I highly suggest that you mention this incident as well as other similar incidents across the length of your marriage. I am not a lawyer, but I feel like this might be very important.
dandylion
No, I didn't think he was being abusive mainly because the whole argument was about the cost. He didn't want to have to pay for medical attention. Once the lifeguards said that the pain would get better, AH decided that I should just wait it out and see before I went rushing out to urgent care. I, on the other hand, was extremely concerned about infection and the possibility of parts of the barb being in my foot so I finally forced him to take me.
When my car broke down 6 weeks ago I called AH and told him I was calling the tow truck because I knew it wasn't the battery. He got mad and told me NO and told me to wait there for him for a jump. He said it would cost $500 for a tow and he didn't want to pay for it. He had just jumped my car 3 miles away at home and my car completely died, I knew it was the alternator. So, I stood out in the 100 plus degree heat waiting for him. He came, tried to jump it, nothing happened, and then says, "Call a tow truck." GAH! I could have had the dang truck there by then and been on my way to getting it fixed. Instead I had to sit there (in AH's car) and wait another 25 minutes for the tow. This is very typical of our relationship. He says jump and I say, "How high?". I am finally becoming aware of what is really going on here and I honestly don't think he even realizes how bad he is. I think it's become so normal between us that it's almost second nature.
Definitely glad I'm not going on that trip!!