Emhow84

I'm new here so I guess this is my intro. I'm a mother of one...an 18 month old crazy awesome little boy...I'm a navy wife of a strong trustworthy man...I'm a college graduate. Why am I an alcoholic?! It was a fast progression...I can't blame them, but both of my parents have addictions which always affected my childhood...I didn't drink while pregnant although prior to my husband and I were very light social drinkers and had no issues...I didn't drink until well after I had my son and was living with my parents (who are day drinkers...and at their age I'm not expecting them to change bc it's just who thy are, despite my repeated and sometimes drastic attempts) an even when I drank at that point it was maybe 3 beers a day. It wasn't until I moved away and felt very isolated and lonely (and honestly after I had started taking Celexa) that I became an extreme daily binger. It went from a 6 pack a day...to a 12 pack a day...to a gallon of vodka every other day(drinking all day both days) to a blackout here and there...to a bottle or two of wine...and then here recently back to an 18 pack a day...A DAY!! I'm not a big girl either. When I drink beer I never get drunk. I stopped drinking coffee and replaced it with beer. I'm not trying to impress. I don't think this forum is for that. I need help...I need someone who understands. I need to stop. Today is the day. I've said this before, lasted a few days, and then went right back to my ways. This Hans effected my mothering, I know what people are thinking out there, but it really hasn't. It has effected my relationship, and most certainly my health. So, that's me...sorry this was so long. I'm sure no one read it all anyhow.