Originally Posted by
SoLongFarewell 
Then he turns it around and says that I will never be able to take care of myself financially and I always depend on my parents, was that his "sneaky" way of convincing me to stay with an emotionally abusive, deceiving two-faced alcoholic/drug addict?
Things my AH said to me when I told him I was getting my own place with the kids and not moving out to the new state where he is:
"Your motivating factor is living off your dad and you will suck him dry like your tweaker sister."
"Your dad probably isn't going to make it another year, then who will help you financially?"
(my dad is paying for my lawyer, everything else I can afford to do)
"You are just one big mistake away from killing someone and losing your license.". (I'm a nurse)
"I'm just concerned for you when winter comes, having to clear snow from the driveway, you know the cold is too hard on you."
He also told his lawyer we used drugs together (not true) and said DCFS would come put the kids in foster care. He threatened me with criminal kidnapping charges because I didnt give him my new home address. He threatened me for money and shut off my cell. These are just the few things I can remember.
To answer your question, yes they use threats to manipulate us. Yes you can support yourself. Figure a budget, get a roommate. Whatever it takes.
Dont wrap your self esteem up in what he says. He is a low life addict who cant cope with life without getting high and cant keep a woman without threats.