Originally Posted by
allforcnm 
Just wanted to recommend a book that has helped me a lot these past months in regards to my husband:
Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening
by Robert J Meyers Ph.D.
The title of that book already sounds contadictory to the tried and true common sense that there is nothing a person can do to get a loved one sober. Sounds like a book that would keep the codependent on the hamster wheel of codependency.
Exerpt from the editorial review:
If you have "tried everything" and nothing has worked, but you are not ready to give up, then you are in the right place. The scientifically validated program on which this book is based has been designed specifically for people who feel they have "tried it all." They have scolded, nagged, begged, bribed, detached, and tried a few tricks not fit to print. Just like you, they love their drinkers enough to keep trying and trying. What they have not done (and what we will teach you to do) is use that love to change the way they and their drinkers interact so that they spend less time feeling miserable and their loved ones discover
Something doesnt feel right about this. Detaching is not a "trick" to get someone sober. Trying and trying does not necessarily indicate love and not trying anymore does not indicate a lack of love. Sometimes trying and trying just indicates the person trying is still trying to control and manipulate and fix which is part of the codie sickness.