I'm glad you made it here KDH.
There's a ton of good advice here
I've never lost a son but I've grieved and had other losses - I used alcohol to try and cope...it did nothing to help me deal with my grief...at best it just pushed it aside or numbed it for a while...and even that didn't work eventually...and no matter what my sorrow always came back.
All drinking did for me was leave my grief intact and leave me with a whole lot of other problems besides.
You'll find a lot of support here to stop drinking. Welcome aboard
D