Is there some small part of you that wanted to have people talk you out of it?...I don't know. I look at my sobriety like this. I was as low as I could f*cking possibly get....Mentally...physically and spiritually shot. I feel like God gave me a second chance....Gave this worthless and hopeless alcoholic a purpose in life....And for me to pick up a drink right now would be slapping Him in the face....So maybe it just confuses me....Maybe I would have just moved on quietly like my friend that helped me out in my first year in AA and went out a few months ago....Maybe it's just something I'll never understand....But nothing happens in God's world by mistake....Be good stugotz!